I've Been Accused of Cheating on my Husband

Got your attention?

On multiple occasions my spouse has expressed his concern for my love of the Internet! Before I move forward, let me explain that I communicate purely through email. My whole life is on the computer. We live in a small town, where shopping and activities are sparse. We move frequently, so my friends & family are spread across the US (among other countries).

I also run an online boutique. Perhaps you have heard of it, The Preppy Poppy (www.preppypoppy.com). ;-) Consumed with online marketing, website updates, etc - I spend several hours on the computer daily. When I combine my work with pleasure (i.e Facebook & Twitter) I have created a recipe for disaster.

Am I obsessed with the latest technology and the Internet, am I obsessed with staying in touch with all of my friends & family on the net, am I obsessed with shopping on the net, am I obsessed with doing research (all together now) on the net, am I obsessed with working on the net? The answer is "Yes". Do I feel that I use the Internet in excess? The answer is "Yes". Will I ever admit this to my husband, the answer is......."No"!

To say that my husband is jealous of an inanimate object would be an understatement. We have routine disagreements on the topic weekly. I can't seem to pull myself away from the computer. I find comfort hearing the clicking of my lap top keys. I literally get high from the sound of an incomming message. I LOVE my computer!!! I find comfort in my computer. We are linked at the hip - we are one. My computer is my therapist. My computer is my friend. My computer is my mentor. My computer is my companion.

As I write this, I am realizing just how sick I am. I DO cheat on my husband with my computer. I do neglect him, because I am too fixated on my laptop screen. Still, admitting my severe infatuation will most likely not change my ways.

My computer makes me happy, my computer makes me money, my computer engages me and fills my need for knowledge. I fear I would curl up and die without my "window to the outside world".

I've been challanged many times to go 24 hours without my computer or smartphone. A challange I have refused to take. I can barely go an hour without accessing my email or checking my twitter or facebook.

I hear there are programs for those needing to "detox" from the internet, such programs as this one:
http://www.cmaj.ca/earlyreleases/15sept09_detox.shtml

Though, I don't think I'm quite at the stage to be admitted for detox. However, I do think I'm possibly at the stage where an intervention is needed.

So today at 3:45 (as I complete this post) I am tuning out and turning off anything that has to do with my computer. I may shake, I may sweat, I may go into actual withdrawls, but tonight I won't be cheating on my husband, tonight I will talk to him, I will watch a show with him, I will close my "window" and who knows...I might actually survive.